My GF Said ＂You're Not Attractive Enough For Me To Be Faithful＂ I Said ＂Then Be Single＂ She Is

My girlfriend said, "You're not attractive enough for me to be faithful." I said, "Then be single. She is now. I'm not with someone who thinks I'm a 10. Attraction is subjective. My exit wasn't." All right, Reddit. Buckle up because this is going to be a wild ride. This happened about 8 months ago, and I'm still processing how spectacularly this whole situation imploded.

My ex-girlfriend basically told me I wasn't hot enough to deserve loyalty. And what she didn't expect was that I'd agree with her and walk away without a single argument. Now she's spiraling while I'm living my best life with someone who actually appreciates what I bring to the table. Here's how it all went down.

I'm Jake, 29, male, and I work as a logistics coordinator for a shipping company in Arizona. Not the most glamorous job, but it pays well and I'm good at what I do. I manage inventory routes, keep things running smooth, solve problems before they become disasters. The kind of job where nobody notices when you're doing it right, but everyone notices when you screw up.

Been living in Phoenix since I graduated college because the job market was solid and housing was still affordable back then. Got a decent two-bedroom apartment in Tempe with actual parking and a balcony that doesn't overlook a dumpster. My furniture isn't fancy, but it's real furniture that I owned, not stuff held together with duct tape and broken dreams.

I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm some male model. I'm 5' 10 in average build, dark hair that I keep short because dealing with product sounds like a nightmare. I hit the gym three times a week, not for Instagram photos, but because I like feeling healthy and strong. Basically, I look like a regular dude who takes care of himself without obsessing over it.

After college, I dated around, but nothing serious stuck. Most relationships fizzled out after a few months because either they wanted something I couldn't give or I wanted something they weren't ready for. By the time I hit 27, I'd basically accepted that maybe I was just meant to be single and focused on building a solid career in life.

Then I met Britney in spring 2023. My company was hiring for admin positions, and Britney walked into the office for her interview. She was 26, had this confident energy, wore professional clothes that somehow still showed personality. During her interview, she made a joke about our filing system looking like it survived the apocalypse, and my boss actually laughed instead of being offended.

She got the job, started working in the same office complex, different department, but close enough that we'd run into each other at the coffee station or in the parking garage. We started chatting casually. Nothing heavy, just the kind of small talk you make with co-workers when you're both waiting for the elevator. The coffee station became our daily ritual.

She'd show up around 9:15 every morning, and I'd already be there because I liked getting my second cup after the morning rush died down. We'd talk about random stuff, weekend plans, TV shows we were binge watching, complaints about Phoenix traffic, normal co-orker friendship stuff.

About a month after she started, I asked if she wanted to grab lunch. Nothing fancy, just this sandwich shop down the street that made ridiculous portions for cheap. She said yes, and we ended up talking for way longer than our lunch break should have lasted. Found out she'd moved from Colorado to Arizona for a fresh start after a messy breakup.

wanted to be somewhere completely different where she didn't have history weighing her down. She was easy to talk to. Didn't play games, didn't drop weird hints, just said what she meant. When I asked her out on an actual date, she smiled and said, "Yeah." She'd been hoping I would ask instead of just being her lunch buddy forever.

Dating Britney was refreshingly straightforward. She worked her job, I worked mine, and we'd meet up after for dinner or movies or just hanging out at one of our places. No drama about schedules, no weird jealousy about co-workers, just two adults who enjoyed spending time together. She loved that I had my life together.

Said it was nice dating someone who paid their bills on time, kept their place clean, and didn't need a babysitter to function as an adult. Bars pretty low, apparently, but I cleared it easy. We'd order takeout and watch shows together. She introduced me to this Korean drama she was obsessed with, and I got her hooked on this documentary series about engineering disasters.

the kind of couple that could sit in comfortable silence or talk for hours depending on the mood. Her apartment was about 15 minutes from mine, small but organized. She had this thing about plants where she'd name them all and talk to them like they were pets. Had probably 20 different plants scattered around her living room and kitchen.

I thought it was weird at first, but it was actually kind of endearing watching her check on Gerald the ficus or water Patricia the paos while explaining their care requirements like a proud parent. My place became our default hangout spot because I had the better TV setup and more counter space for cooking.

She'd come over after work, still in her office clothes, change into sweats she kept in my drawer, and we'd figure out dinner together. Sometimes I'd cook, sometimes she would. Sometimes we'd just order pizza and call it a night. About 4 months in, she started leaving more stuff at my place. Toothbrush in the bathroom, spare clothes in the closet, her favorite coffee creamer in my fridge.

the normal progression of a relationship getting serious. I liked having her around. She made my apartment feel less like just a place I slept between work shifts and more like somewhere I actually wanted to be. We'd establish this comfortable routine. I'd wake up early for work. She'd sleep in a bit longer since her job started later.

I'd make coffee and leave her a cup on the nightstand before I left. She'd text me random stuff throughout the day. Memes, complaints about annoying co-workers, pictures of lunch, normal couple stuff. Everything felt solid. Not fireworks and dramatic movie moments, but steady and reliable. I thought that was good.

I thought that meant we were building something real instead of burning hot and flaming out like my past relationships. I was wrong. Around the 6 month mark, something shifted. Nothing huge at first, just small things that didn't quite add up. Britney started making comments about other guys. Not in a, "Hey, I think that guy is attractive casual way," but in a "Wow, he's really good-looking pointed way.

" that felt like she wanted me to notice she was noticing. We'd be watching a movie and she'd comment on how attractive the lead actor was. Cool. Whatever. I get that celebrities are hot. But then it became every movie, every show, like she was keeping score of who she found attractive and making sure I knew about it. Started happening in real life, too.

We'd be at the grocery store and she'd casually mentioned the guy in the produce section was hot. At a restaurant, she'd point out our waiter was attractive. Walking through the mall, she'd comment on guys we passed. I'm not the jealous type normally, but it started feeling weird, like she was deliberately trying to make me notice that she was noticing other men. Then came the social media shift.

Britney started posting more. A lot more photos with carefully thought out captions, always checking how many likes she got, getting annoyed if posts didn't perform well. She'd spend 20 minutes taking the same selfie from different angles, asking me which one looked better. Does this one make my face look weird? No, you look fine in all of them, but which one is best? Honestly, they all look the same to me.

Wrong answer, apparently. She'd get frustrated that I couldn't see the microscopic differences between photos that were basically identical. The gym comments started around month seven. She'd always gone to the gym semi-regularly, but suddenly it became this major focus. She joined a new gym with better equipment and started going five times a week instead of two or three.

There's this guy at my gym who's insanely ripped. She mentioned one night while we were making dinner, like bodybuilder level. Cool. He was helping me with my form on squats today. Super nice about it. Something in my gut twisted, but I pushed it down. She was allowed to have conversations with people at the gym.

I wasn't going to be that paranoid boyfriend who freaked out over normal social interactions, but the gym guy kept coming up. Bradley this, Bradley that. Bradley showed her a better way to do deadlifts. Bradley recommended this protein powder. Bradley invited her to try his CrossFit class. You should come to the gym with me sometime, she suggested.

Bradley could give you some tips, too. I already go to my gym. I'm good. Yeah, but you just do like basic stuff. Bradley's really into optimizing workouts for maximum results. I kept my mouth shut, but it was getting harder to ignore the pattern forming. Month eight is when things got really weird.

Britney started making little digs about how I looked. Nothing super harsh at first, just comments dressed up as concern or suggestions. You know what would look good on you? If you grew your hair out a bit, like that actor from the show we watched last week. I like my hair short. Yeah, but you'd look more stylish with some length, more modern.

Few days later, have you ever thought about bulking up more? Like really building muscle? I'm happy with how I look. I'm just saying you have potential. You could look really good if you put in more effort. That phrase, more effort, like maintaining a healthy weight and going to the gym regularly, wasn't already effort.

Like I was some fixer upper project she decided to take on. She started suggesting clothes I should wear, haircuts I should try, skin care products I should use. Everything framed as helpful advice, but it all pointed to the same message. I wasn't good enough as I was. The worst part, she'd make these comments in front of other people sometimes.

Her friend Rachel came over for dinner one night and Britney literally said, "Jake's got a great personality, but I'm trying to get him to upgrade his style game." I just smiled and nodded because what else do you do in that situation? But inside, I was thinking, "What the hell is happening here?" The breaking point came at her friend's birthday party in early November.

Rachel was turning 27 and threw this big party at her apartment. Lots of people I didn't know. Music too loud. That whole scene. Britney had been at the gym that morning and came back talking about Bradley again. He was going to be at the party, too, since apparently everyone in her friend group knew him now. Great.

You should make an effort tonight, she said while getting ready. Maybe wear that button-up I like instead of just a regular shirt. I changed into the button-up, picked my battles, and this one wasn't worth fighting. The party was exactly what I expected. Too crowded, too loud, people pregaming in the kitchen while others danced in the living room.

I'm not antisocial, but I'm also not the guy who thrives in those environments. I can handle it, but I don't love it. Bradley was there and yeah, okay, dude was objectively good-looking, tall, built like he lived at the gym, had that confidence that comes from knowing people find you attractive. He was friendly enough when Britney introduced us, but there was this vibe, like he was sizing me up and finding me lacking.

Britney kept gravitating toward him all night. I'd be talking to someone and look over to see her laughing at something Bradley said. She'd come back to check on me occasionally, but then drift back to his orbit like she couldn't help herself. I wasn't going to cause a scene at someone's birthday party, so I just hung back and let her do her thing.

Made conversation with whoever was nearby, helped myself to some snacks, basically played the role of supportive boyfriend who wasn't going to make drama. Around 1000 p.m., I was in the kitchen getting a soda when I overheard Britney talking to Rachel and two other girls I didn't know. They were in the dining area thinking they had privacy.

But voices carry when you've had a few drinks and the music's only medium loud. So, is Bradley single? One of the girls asked. Yeah, he just got out of something like 2 months ago. Rachel said, "He's so hot. Why are all the hot ones always taken or broken?" Then Britney laughed. That laugh. I mean, I definitely notice. Who wouldn't? Girl, you have a boyfriend.

Yeah, but like Britney's voice dropped a bit, but I could still hear every word. Jake's great. He really is super reliable. Treats me well. The whole package personalitywise. But but he's not exactly I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I'm settling. My hand froze on the soda can. Settling how? Rachel asked. Like looks wise. Jake's fine.

He's average. Nice face. Decent body. Nothing wrong with him. But compared to guys like Bradley, there's just no comparison. The other girls made sympathetic noises while I stood there in the kitchen processing what I just heard. You can't help what you're attracted to. One of them said, "Exactly.

And the thing is, I love Jake's personality. I love how stable he is, how he has his together. But I can't lie and say I don't notice when someone like Bradley walks into a room." Britney sighed dramatically. Why can't I find a guy who has Jake's personality in Bradley's body? Is that too much to ask? They all laughed.

Rachel said something about how that guy doesn't exist. And you have to pick what matters more. I know. I know. I'm probably being shallow. It's just hard sometimes watching all my friends date these gorgeous guys while I'm with someone who's just adequate. Adequate. I sat down the soda and walked out of the kitchen, headed straight for the front door without saying goodbye to anyone.

Got to my car, sat in the driver's seat, and just stared at the steering wheel for a solid 5 minutes. My phone started buzzing. Brittany calling. I declined it. She called again, declined again. Third time I answered. Jake, where did you go? Home. What? Why? The party's still going. I'm tired. Not feeling great. You stay and have fun.

Are you sure? I can leave if you're not feeling well. Nah, stay. Hang out with your friends. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I hung up before she could respond. I spent that whole night lying in bed staring at the ceiling, replaying every comment she'd made over the past few months. Every subtle dig, every comparison, it all made sense now.

The constant mentions of other guys being attractive, the suggestions about how I should change my appearance, the frustration when I didn't obsess over my looks the way she wanted. She didn't just think I was average. She thought she was settling. Here's the thing about being called adequate.

It's almost worse than being called ugly. At least ugly is strong. Adequate is nothing. It's bare minimum. It's I guess this will do since I can't get what I really want. I could have confronted her. Could have brought up what I heard and demanded an explanation. Could have tried to work through it like adults, but honestly, what would be the point? She'd said what she really thought when she didn't know I was listening. That was her truth.

Everything else would just be damage control and backtracking. Sunday morning, she texted asking if I felt better. I said, "Yeah, just needed sleep." She suggested coming over later to hang out. I told her I had errands to run and we'd catch up during the week. I needed time to think this through clearly without the anger clouding my judgment.

Monday evening, I asked her to come over to my place. She showed up around 7:00 in a good mood, talking about her day at work and some office drama with their new hire. So, I've been thinking, I said once we were settled on the couch. About what? About us. Her face shifted. That defensive look people get when they sense a serious conversation coming.

Okay, I think we should break up. Silence. She stared at me like I just started speaking another language. What? Where is this coming from? I've just been doing some thinking and I don't think this is working anymore. Jake, what are you talking about? Things are fine. We're good. Are we though? Yes, we're great. Is this about me staying late at the party? I'm sorry I didn't leave when you did, but you said it was fine.

This isn't about the party. Then what is it about? Did I do something wrong? Did something happen? I could have told her what I overheard, could have thrown her own words back at her and watched her scramble to explain. But what would that accomplish besides giving her the chance to gaslight me into thinking I misheard or misunderstood? I just think we want different things, I said calmly.

And that's okay, but I don't see the point in dragging this out. You're not even going to tell me what changed. We were fine last week, and now suddenly you want to break up. Sometimes you realize things aren't working and it's better to end it cleanly than let it drag on until it gets messy.

She sat there processing and I could see the wheels turning in her head, trying to figure out what I knew, what I'd heard, whether this was somehow about Bradley or the comments she'd been making. Is this because of something specific I said or did. Does it matter? Yes, obviously it matters. You can't just break up with someone and not tell them why. I'm telling you why.

I don't think we're right for each other long term and I'd rather end things now while we can still be civil about it. Her eyes started watering. Jake, please. If I did something wrong, just tell me and we can fix it. I don't want to lose you over something we can work through. Some things can't be fixed, Britney.

What does that even mean? Are you being cryptic on purpose? I took a breath, decided to give her at least a little bit of truth. You're allowed to want someone more attractive. You're allowed to want someone who looks like Bradley instead of someone who looks like me. But I'm not going to sit around being someone's consolation prize while they wish they were with someone better.

Her face went pale. You You heard us talking at the party. Yep, Jake. That was just girl talk. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. You called me adequate. I was drunk. I was just talking without thinking. You know how girls get when they're gossiping. You weren't that drunk. And that's not the first comment you've made about my appearance.

You've spent the last two months dropping hints that I'm not good-looking enough for you. That's not true really because you've suggested I change my hair, bulk up more, dress differently, and you've mentioned how hot other guys are pretty much constantly. Bradley especially. I notice attractive people. Everyone does.

That doesn't mean anything. It means you're not actually happy with what you have. You're constantly comparing and finding me lacking. That's fine. You're allowed to feel that way, but I'm not going to stick around for it. Tears were streaming down her face now. Jake, please. I love you. I don't care that you're not Bradley. I chose you.

You settled for me and I heard you say it. I'm not going to be the guy you're with while wishing you could do better. That's not fair to either of us. I can change. I'll stop making those comments. I'll stop talking about other guys. Just please don't do this. I don't want you to change.

I want you to be with someone you're actually excited about. And I want to be with someone who doesn't think they're settling. She tried arguing for another 20 minutes, crying, apologizing, promising things would be different. But I'd made up my mind. Once you hear someone say they're settling for you, there's no coming back from that. Finally, she left.

Grabbed her stuff from my place while crying the whole time. Kept saying this was a huge mistake, and I was throwing away something good over a misunderstanding. But it wasn't a misunderstanding. It was the truth slipping out when she thought I couldn't hear it. The first week after the breakup was quiet.

Britney texted a few times apologizing, saying she understood why I was hurt, but we could work through it. I kept my responses short and non-committal. Eventually, she got the message, and the text slowed down. I threw myself into work in the gym. Started going four times a week instead of three. Not because I was trying to prove anything, but because I needed something to focus my energy on besides feeling like crap about the whole situation.

My co-workers noticed something was off, but I just said we'd broken up and didn't want to talk about it. Most people respected that except for my buddy Chris who works in shipping. He took me out for lunch and said, "You good? You look like you've been running on spite and protein shakes." Pretty much. Want to talk about it? Not really, but thanks. Fair enough.

Just so you know, you're doing that thing where you get super focused on work when you're avoiding feelings. It's very productive, but also very transparent. He wasn't wrong. But productive coping mechanisms are still better than wallowing. Around week three, I started hearing through the office grapevine that Britney had been showing up to work looking rough, crying in the bathroom, distracted during meetings, generally not her usual self.

Her friend Rachel still worked in our building and apparently had been covering for her when she zoned out during important calls. Part of me felt bad. I didn't want her to be miserable, but also she'd made her choice. She'd decided I wasn't good enough, and I'd simply agreed with her by ending things. If that made her sad, well, that was the consequence of telling people they're adequate to their face.

Month two, post breakup is when things got interesting. I met Melissa at a work conference in December. Our company sent a few of us to Las Vegas for this logistics industry conference. The kind of thing where you spend 3 days in windowless hotel conference rooms, learning about supply chain optimization while pretending the free coffee is good.

Melissa worked for one of our partner companies based in California. She was giving a presentation on inventory management software and absolutely killed it. Made a boring subject actually engaging. Had great slides, answered questions without talking down to anyone. During the coffee break after her session, I went up to compliment her presentation.

That was really good, I said. Especially the part about reducing redundancy in distribution centers. I'm definitely stealing some of those ideas, she laughed. Steal away. That's why we're here, right? to steal each other's good ideas and pretend we came up with them ourselves. We ended up talking through the entire break about logistics solutions, inefficiency problems we'd encountered, and industry trends.

She was smart, funny, and didn't talk to me like I was an idiot. Just treated me like a professional colleague who knew his stuff. She was also objectively attractive, not in a way that made her seem unapproachable, but in a natural way that comes from someone who takes care of themselves without obsessing over it.

about 5' 7 in, athletic build, kept her brown hair in a practical ponytail, dressed professionally without trying too hard. We exchanged business cards and kept running into each other throughout the conference. Ended up sitting together during a few sessions, grabbing lunch with a group of other conference attendees, talking shop over mediocre hotel food.

Last night of the conference, a bunch of us went out for dinner at this steakhouse near the strip. Nothing crazy, just industry people unwinding after three days of meetings and presentations. Melissa ended up sitting next to me and we spent most of dinner talking about everything except work. She'd moved to California from Oregon for her job.

Loved hiking, had strong opinions about the best Mexican food spots in San Diego, was currently training for a half marathon. She asked about my life in Arizona, and I told her about Phoenix, my job, my apartment complex that had a surprisingly good pool situation. Are you seeing anyone?" she asked casually while we were splitting dessert with the rest of the table. Nope.

Got out of something a couple months ago. Recently single. Got it. The good news is you seem well adjusted about it. The bad news? No bad news. Just saying you don't have that angry, bitter, recently single energy some guys have. It's refreshing. We exchanged numbers before leaving Vegas.

She said she'd be in Phoenix for work in a few weeks and maybe we could grab coffee. I said, "Yeah, that sounded good." Melissa texted me two weeks later saying she was coming to Phoenix for a client meeting. We made plans to meet up for coffee that Saturday morning. She showed up in jeans and a sweater, looking relaxed and way more casual than the business professional version from the conference.

We grabbed coffee from this local place and ended up walking around the park nearby talking for 2 hours. So, what happened with your recent ex? She asked while we were sitting on a bench watching ducks in the pond. If you don't mind me asking, she basically told her friends I was adequate but not attractive enough. I overheard her saying she wished she could find someone with my personality but better looks.

Melissa's eyebrows shot up. She said that while you were dating. Yep. At her friend's party. Didn't know I could hear her. H. What did you do? Broke up with her. Told her I wasn't interested in being someone's backup plan. Good. That's some delusional behavior on her part. She shook her head. You're objectively not a badl looking guy.

Like conventionally attractive by any reasonable standard. Thanks. I guess I mean it. You're not a male model, but neither are most people. You look like a normal guy who takes care of himself. That should be enough for any reasonable person. She paused. Actually, you know what? Forget enough. You're just good-looking.

No qualifiers needed. It was weird hearing someone say that so directly. Britney had spent months making me feel like I was barely scraping by in the appearance department. Melissa said it like it was just obvious fact. We kept talking about work, about life, about random stuff. She was easy to talk to in the same way Britney had been at first, but without that underlying current of judgment or comparison.

She seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say instead of waiting for her turn to talk. "Want to grab lunch?" she asked after we'd been at the park for a while. There's this place near here that makes really good sandwiches. We got lunch, then walked around some more, then ended up back at the coffee shop because we weren't ready to end the conversation yet.

By the time we finally said goodbye, it was almost dinner time and my face hurt from smiling so much. I had a really good time today, she said. I don't suppose you'd be interested in doing this again sometime? Yeah, definitely. Cool. I'm coming back to Phoenix in 2 weeks for another meeting. Dinner this time? Absolutely. She left for California and I drove home feeling better than I had in months.

Melissa and I started dating officially in January. It was casual at first since she lived in San Diego and I was in Phoenix, but we made it work. She'd come to Arizona for work every few weeks and we'd spend the weekend together. I'd drive to California when I had time off. She never once made comments about my appearance needing improvement.

Never suggested I should change my hair or bulk up or dress differently. She'd tell me I looked good when I put effort in, and she'd tell me I looked comfortable when I was just wearing sweats around the house. Both were said with the same genuine tone. Being with someone who actually liked how I looked was honestly refreshing.

I didn't realize how much Britney's constant suggestions had messed with my head until I was with someone who didn't do that. Melissa would laugh at my jokes instead of fake laughing while checking her phone. She'd ask about my day and actually listen to the answer. She'd suggest activities we could do together instead of dragging me to things only she wanted to do.

We'd be cooking dinner together and she'd just randomly say, "You know you're really attractive, right?" like it was a casual observation instead of something I needed to earn. Your ex did a number on you, didn't she? Melissa said one night in February. We were lying on my couch watching a movie and she'd noticed me tense up when she said I looked good.

Is it that obvious? Kind of. You always look surprised when I compliment you. Like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yeah, well, being told you're adequate for months will do that. She was an idiot. You know that, right? Objectively, probably. But knowing something and feeling it are different things. She squeezed my hand.

Well, for what it's worth, I think you're a 10. Personality, looks, the whole package, and I don't say that lightly because I'm very picky. That helped. Having someone who was objectively in my league, actually, probably out of my league if we're being honest, say stuff like that made the Britney comments seem more ridiculous in retrospect.

Meanwhile, according to the office gossip that I definitely wasn't seeking out, but somehow still heard, Britney was not doing great. Rachel had apparently told someone who told someone else who told my friend Chris that Britney had tried to pursue things with Bradley after we broke up. He'd turned her down saying he wasn't interested in dating right now.

Then he'd started dating someone else about 3 weeks later. Britney had apparently taken that hard. Stopped going to that gym entirely. Was barely posting on social media anymore. Still showed up to work but wasn't her usual bubbly self. Part of me felt bad about that, but mostly I just felt nothing. She'd made her choice and it hadn't worked out how she wanted.

That wasn't my problem anymore. March is when everything came to a head. Melissa was in town for the weekend and we'd gone to this restaurant in Scottsdale that she'd been wanting to try. Good food, nice atmosphere, the kind of place you go when you're actually enjoying dating someone instead of just going through the motions.

We were halfway through dinner when I looked up and saw Britney walking in with some friends. She saw me at the exact same moment. Her eyes went wide, then moved to Melissa, then back to me. Oh, this is going to be interesting, I muttered. What? Melissa asked. My ex just walked in. Melissa turned slightly to look, then turned back.

The one who called you adequate? That's the one. Huh? She looks upset. Brittany did look upset. She was staring at our table like she just watched someone kick a puppy. Her friends were trying to get her attention, but she wasn't responding. We kept eating and tried to ignore it, but about 10 minutes later, Britney came over to our table. Her friends were hanging back near the entrance looking uncomfortable.

"Jake," she said. Her voice was shaky. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" Melissa raised her eyebrows, but didn't say anything. "I'm kind of in the middle of dinner," I said calmly. "Please, just for a second." I looked at Melissa, she shrugged. "I'll be fine. Go ahead." I got up and walked with Britney toward the entrance, away from our table, but still in view.

Who is she? Britney asked immediately. Someone I'm dating. You're dating someone already? It's been 4 months, Britney. Yeah, I'm dating someone. She's Britney's voice caught. She's really pretty. She is. So, you can date someone who looks like that, but I'm shallow for noticing attractive people. That's not the same thing. And you know it.

Melissa doesn't constantly compare me to other guys and tell me I'm not good enough. She actually likes how I look instead of treating me like a fixeruppper project. Britney's eyes filled with tears. I never said you weren't good enough. You literally called me adequate. I was talking without thinking. I told you that. It was just stupid girl talk that didn't mean anything. It meant something to me.

Jake, I made a mistake. A huge mistake. Breaking up with you was the worst decision I ever made. She was crying now. Mascara starting to run. I miss you so much every single day. And Bradley was a complete waste of time who wasn't even interested in me. I threw away everything we had for nothing. I'm sorry that didn't work out for you.

Don't do this. Don't be cold. You used to care about me. I did care about you. Then you made it very clear you thought you were settling. So, I let you go find someone you wouldn't have to settle for. I wasn't settling. I was just being stupid and insecure. You have to believe me. Whether you were settling or just being stupid doesn't really matter.

Either way, you didn't value what we had. And I'm not interested in being with someone who doesn't value me. But you're with her now. She gestured toward Melissa. She's objectively gorgeous and you're fine with that. But when I noticed attractive people, suddenly I'm the bad guy. The difference is Melissa thinks I'm attractive, too.

She doesn't sit around wishing I looked different or comparing me to other guys. She chose me because she actually wants me, not because she couldn't get who she really wanted. Britney looked like I'd slapped her. That's not fair. It's completely fair. You spent months making me feel inadequate and then got mad when I agreed with you and left.

I didn't want you to leave. I wanted you to fight for us. Why would I fight to stay with someone who told their friends they were settling for me? What exactly was I supposed to fight for? The privilege of being your backup plan? She didn't have an answer for that. Just stood there crying while her friends watched from a distance, looking mortified.

I'm going to go back to my dinner now, I said. I hope you find what you're looking for, Britney, but it's not going to be with me. I walked back to the table. Melissa had politely been looking at her phone but glanced up when I sat down. You good? Yeah, I'm good. She looked pretty upset. She made a choice.

She's dealing with the consequences. Melissa reached across the table and took my hand. Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad she screwed up because otherwise I wouldn't have found you. You're really good at saying the right thing. You know that? It's a gift. We finished dinner and left. Brittany and her friends were still there, sitting at a table across the restaurant.

I saw her watching us leave. Saw the way her face crumpled when Melissa took my hand in the parking lot. It's been 8 months since the breakup now. Melissa and I are still going strong. She got a promotion that's letting her work remotely more often, so she's spending about half her time in Phoenix now. We're talking about her just moving here permanently by the end of the year.

Britney's still struggling from what I hear. She deleted most of her social media, barely posts anything. apparently told Rachel she regrets everything about how she handled our relationship. Rachel actually reached out to me once to say Britney was really going through it and maybe I should consider giving her another chance. I told Rachel that Britney made her feelings very clear and I'd simply respected her wishes.

If she wanted someone more attractive, she should go find them. I'd found someone who actually valued me and I wasn't interested in downgrading. Rachel didn't respond after that.